I need a hiatus

I don't know quite how to word this but I think that given I am the worst member and person ever, I owe everyone an explanation OTL

I was recently appointed to go through extensive therapy because my recent break-up with a guy who abused me brought up a lot of personal things I would rather not get into. Several people in my past have done horrible things to me as a child, and the way my ex treated me compounded everything to the point where the memories I suppressed came out and put me through constant panic attacks and anxiety that completely destroyed me. I have to go to therapy once every week because of all of the things that happened. I'm not doing well in school because of them and I can't be alone without getting anxious to the point of vomiting. I have been having such a rough time with life and general and I've had thoughts of ending it all, but I'm too chicken and I don't want to know how disappointed my brother and sister would be in me.

That being said, I cannot physically will myself to do any lines or any mixes or anything at this time. Idol songs shouldn't be sung by damaged people like me who can't feel their happy messages.

Thank you for understanding.

Oh my god Izumi, that's awful to hear ;w;
I really, really hope that things will go better from now on, cause no one deserves things like this.

Will you still be in Seishun Domannaka? Cause if not, I totally understand that.

Ganbare for the upcoming time! Remember we're always here if you need someone to talk to.

I know I can't do lines today. I just don't feel right having my weak voice coming out of my idol's mouth right now. I would feel like I was being disrespectful to Masaki. I think I read that Hanii was recording them. She deserves the part more than me, and I don't want to make anyone wait anymore.Thank you for caring. I'm having an attack right now, so any little bit helps ^^

;w; So understandable.
It's sad, but I believe you can get through it! Ganbare Izun!!

Izumi wrote:I know I can't do lines today. I just don't feel right having my weak voice coming out of my idol's mouth right now. I would feel like I was being disrespectful to Masaki. I think I read that Hanii was recording them. She deserves the part more than me, and I don't want to make anyone wait anymore.Thank you for caring. I'm having an attack right now, so any little bit helps ^^

Noooo dude, noo. I was only back-up if you didn't think you'd be able to do them. Few people do Masaki justice, and you're one of them. ; w;

But at least it's one thing off of your plate, I suppose.

And agreeing with Hanii: you do Maachan justice (I say that as a fellow Maachan lover)

Aww Izunzun~ We totally understand. It's okay~ Ganbatte ne! Hang in there~ Huuggless

I'm gonna put it out there and tell it to you straight, you are DEFINITELY not alone. I hope you feel better <3